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Dear
James Dobson:
It
has come to my attention that my book "The Trouble
with Boys" has been seriously mis-represented in
writings by James Dobson.
Having
read his newsletter; "How Boys Learn to Become Men"
on the Focus on the Family web site I was incensed to
find that I have been quoted as a source for suggesting
that:
"The
high incidence of homosexuality occurring in Western nations
is related, at least in part, to the absence of positive
male influence when boys are moving through the first
crisis of child development."
I
certainly agree that boys suffer from a lack of positive
men in their lives but I am at pains to point out that
positive men are often as much lacking in two parent households
as they are in lone mother (or two mother) households.
I do not suggest that lack of positive male role models
leads to homosexuality (or indeed that it would be problematic
if it did). My concern is that boys without positive men
around them are more likely to be violent, angry and lacking
in self control. I have never heard that these are characteristics
that are associated with homosexuality.
Dobson
goes on to say: "One of the primary objectives of
parents is to help boys identify their gender assignments
and understand what it means to be a man.
My
concern is that boys are currently learning, either from
their fathers, or in the absence of fathers, from the
women who rear them, and the men they encounter, that
the most important thing about being a man is being: "not
gay", "not gentle" and not "girlie".
While adult men are afraid to demonstrate that it's okay
to be gentle and caring how are boys to learn anything
positive about what it means to be a man?
I
would be grateful if you could publish this letter prominently
on your website.
I
look forward to a swift acknowledgement.
Yours
sincerely
Angela
Phillips
Author of The Trouble with Boys
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